We were shocked! Shocked by the avalanche of accusations coming out about Harvey Weinstein! At first we just thought Harvey was a typical pervert, pig type guy who just wanted a little grab here and a little touch there and maybe a massage. It didn’t even seem like he knew about the “happy ending”. But now more and more women are coming forward and it was not a just touch, a grab and a little massage. No it was much worse than that. It seems Harvey knew all about the happy endings and was going for them, big time. Some reports are reporting oral sex and even using the “R” word. But how bad is this you might ask? Well even HerHillaryness is “shocked”, “shocked and appalled” she said. And, that’s a lot considering who she’s been married to all these years. But that’s why we’re shocked too. At least as shocked as this guy.
Also shocked were the Board of Directors of The Weinstein Company who have fired Harvey. BTW how do you get fired by your own company? It’s the Weinstein Company. Couldn’t he just fire the Board? But he’s been fired and they had no idea! Neither did Ben Affleck, Matt Damon or Brad Pitt! Shock, horror and pigs must be flying as in the old adage, when could something like this ever happen? Answer, when pigs fly.
But all this not knowing might be because all of afore mentioned; the Board and the actors, are all guys. So maybe Harvey wasn’t touchy feely or into giving or getting oral with guys. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just that it never happened, supposedly.
But not everyone’s shocked, not Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Rosanna Arquette, Mira Sorvino, Ashley Judd all of whom were either groped or worse than that, had to look at a naked Harvey Weinstein. Also not shocked was Rose McGowann with whom things must have gotten really nasty, as Harvey had to pay her 80 grand. Wait a second weren’t Brad Pitt and Angelia Jolie married? Didn’t they talk? Maybe that’s why they’re getting divorced. But also not shocked was Jessica Chastain. Harvey didn’t do anything to her but that’s because word got around and Jessica knew never to be alone with him. Which turned out to be a good thing for Harvey, as Jessica Chastain got Bin Laden. Oh wait, she played the woman who got Bin Laden in the movie. But it’s almost the same thing, no?
But what does Harvey say? Well a few centuries ago Samuel Johnson said. “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” And Harvey is off to rehab in Europe and not saying anything. But maybe a whole lot of people are right, when they bemoan how patriotism, just isn’t what it used to be. Maybe rehab is.
But we definitely think this whole Harvey thing needs to be addressed at the next Academy Awards, since Hollywood has taken to lecturing everyone, all the time. But we’re not sure who should give the lecture. Maybe Jessica Chastain, as she got Bin Laden.
Hooray for Hollywood!
Dicens simile factum est
Pro Bono Publico