Hollyweird and the Happy Ending

Recent events in the news, Harveywood in particular, made us realize that perhaps someone needs to review certain rules for men.

If you want a massage, go to a massage parlor.  There are licensed massage parlors where you get an actual massage and then there are the unlicensed massage parlors, where the massage is not as good but you get the “happy ending”.  Do not repeat do not, attempt to get a massage from a, women who is not a masseuse licensed or otherwise.  That also goes for attempting to get a massage from other men, little girls or little boys.  If you do, it will not have a happy ending.  Just ask Big Harvey, Mark Halperin, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hoffman and an ever growing list of ruined individuals, most of whom whether they realize it or not, have made their last movie or written their last book.  And, don’t feel bad for them.  They had it coming, from a long way off.

With or without the massage, do not, repeat do not attempt to have a “happy ending” with co-workers, subordinates, little girls or little boys.  Again, this will not have a happy ending.

When no one will help you have the “happy ending”, do not, repeat do not attempt to give yourself a “happy ending” in the presence of a woman.  While flowers and candy may have gone out of style, whipping out your “other head”, is an absolute deal breaker.  Also if your “other head” is not up to par, she just might giggle.  Again, this also goes for not doing this with other men, little girls or little boys.

Do not invite women you work with or just met, to your hotel room.

Do not use business meetings to proposition women.  In fact, do not proposition women you work with at all.  Women, who accept propositions, can be found on the internet nowadays.  And just because they take propositions, doesn’t mean they’re not ladies.  They just don’t have 9 to 5 jobs or show up for business meetings.  And, try to remember that even in Hollywood, just like in real life, there is not always a happy ending.

Now things you should do.  When you meet a woman you’re attracted to be polite.  You might want to ask her to go out for coffee or lunch.  There you can find out if she is available for dating and whether or not she’s even interested in you.  And if you’re married, well a good rule of thumb is, stop dating.

And, try to act like a gentleman.  If you come from some dysfunctional family and did not have an older, male role model worth emulating , watch the old black and white movies with Cary Grant, Humphrey Bogart or Jimmy Stewart.  There was a time when Hollyweird actually honored women, at least on the screen, if not in real life.  Hell, watch a John Wayne movie.  When he’s not shooting the bad guys and he’s in the presence of a woman, he acts like a perfect gentleman.  Try to emulate those guys because if you don’t act like a gentleman, you may never meet, or get to know, or ever get to fall in love, with a lady.

Dicens simile factum est

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Don Frankel

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