Fake News, Now and Then

We got to thinking that maybe Fake News is nothing new, so we took a look back.

Teddy Roosevelt and his Rough Riders actually charged up Kettle’s Hill but since the War took place in Cuba and Kettle’s Hill sounds like some place in New Jersey, charging up San Juan Hill sounded a lot better.  And, who would want to watch a movie or read about the Gunfight at the empty lot alongside Fly’s Photo Studio?  That’s how it became The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.  So, when we stop to think about it, Fake News not only sounds better than the real thing but it’s heroic, glorious and it makes you the consumer, feel better too.

With that in mind we have some headlines.

PUTIN TO RUN AGAIN FOR PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA

Trump pledges support saying.  “You fixed our election, we’ll fix yours”.

AL FRANKEN RESIGNS FROM THE SENATE

Later he is heard saying to his staff.  “But I didn’t say when.  I’m smart enough.  I’m good enough and doggone it people like me.”

THE NEW NORMAL

As wild fires sweep across southern California and people run for their lives, their Governor Jerry Brown said.  “This is the new normal.”  He went on to explain that it was all due to global warming, which makes sense to us.  The planet is warming, bleep is getting hot and pretty soon poof!

BOMB GOES OFF IN TIMES SQUARE!  NEW YORKERS INJURED!

It seems Akayed Ullah an erstwhile terrorist, planned to detonate bombs in Times Square.  But on his way to Times Square, his bomb went off in his belt and he wound up face down on the floor near the A Train exit, which is not Times Square.  So he didn’t’ quite make it.  The bomb it turns out was just a big firecracker.  And the injuries that it caused turned out to be a ringing in the ears of nearby commuters.  It’s the kind of thing that happens on July 4th or it can happen if you stand on a subway platform for too long.  And since it was more like a cherry bomb, Akayed Ullah is not injured too badly.  He just has a belly ache.  But while he lay on the floor, some New Yorkers without access to Fake News had no idea that he was a, would be terrorist bomber.  They just thought he was another homeless person, lying on the subway floor.  They threw him some change.  And, someone left him their Mickey D’s big breakfast.

Yes, we checked, Akayed Ullah gets to keep the Big Breakfast and of course, he can keep the change.

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Don Frankel

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