The Last of the Dead Sea Scrolls, Deciphered

It took a year but Dr. Eshbal Ratson and Prof. Jonathan Ben-Dov of the Department of Bible Studies were at last, able to decipher the last 60 pieces of The Dead Sea Scrolls.  The Dead Sea Scrolls were written between 200 B.C. and 100 A.D. and they contain ancient wisdom, including the oldest known copy of the Bible.  The Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered in 1947 and these 60 odd pieces were the last unknown pieces of the puzzle.  Dr. Ratson and Professor Ben-Dov realized that these 60 odd pieces were part of one text and once put together, they could decipher its contents.  The translation hasn’t been released to the public as yet but since we know people who know people, we got there first.  And here was what the ancient writers of that last piece of the Dead Sea Scrolls circa 100 A.D. were thinking.

“Why are our taxes so high?”

“Why does that creep of a neighbor Saul, have such a pretty wife?”

“Everyone complains about the weather but no one can ever do anything about it.  So what’s the point?”

“Men get to act like they are in charge but every married man knows, our wives tell us what to do.”

“Was Jesus the Messiah or what?  Judah says no.  But then what does Judah know about anything?”

“Why do the Romans shave every day?  No one else does.”

“Why are there so many wars around here?”

“Why is there no peace in the Middle East?”

“Will no one, ever, lower our taxes?”

We would just like to say in closing, that it is really great when one of the world’s mysteries is unraveled.

Dicens simile factum est

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Don Frankel

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