“The Dossier” and “The Memo”

By now no doubt you have heard of the “The Dossier”.  “The Dossier” is about President the Donald Himself and anything about President the Donald Himself will get the entire Mass Hysteria’s panties in a bunch.  But what is in “The Dossier”?  It doesn’t matter anymore.  You just say “The Dossier”.  You say it to lead off a sentence.  You say “The Dossier” in the middle of a sentence too and most importantly you end a sentence with a pregnant pause and then you look right into the camera and say “The Dossier”.  “The Dossier” brings up images of old black and white spy movies, with lots of shadows, dark alleys, beautiful exotic women that many men would die for and unfortunately, some do.  Then there are a lot of odd camera angles, dead bodies some put there by the beautiful exotic women, more shadows and everyone is in search of… “The Dossier”.

Dossier sounds French because it is a French word and what does it mean in English?  It means File.  And just saying “The File”, well that’s no fun.

Also by now you’ve heard about “The Memo” that might be released later today.  “The Memo” about the FISA Warrant about President the Donald Himself, whose name will always get everyone in the Mass Hysteria’s panties in a bunch.  That, “The Memo”, which in case you didn’t know, came about because of “The Dossier”.  So this gives you another chance to say “The Dossier” a few more times day.  And, they will be linked forever like Orville and Wilbur Wright or Burns and Allen.  What’s in “The Memo”?  Something shocking we’ve been told.  So shocking that some members in the government and the Mass Hysteria are screaming that it shouldn’t be released.  It will besmirch the reputation of the FBI!  OMG!

Now some of us around here are old enough to remember J. Edgar Hoover, the First Director of the FBI who ran the place for 48 years like some potentate from a third world country, until they carried him out by the handles.  And, because of that, J. Edgar Hoover, not to be confused with J. Edgar Comey, paid no attention to the Klu Klux Klan or the Mafia.  J. Edgar Hoover didn’t even think the Mafia existed.  We’re not sure whether he thought the Klan existed or not.  They were pretty hard to miss what with the white robes, the hoods and the burning crosses.  But we would have loved to have seen the look on his face, when someone told him the Mafia, was real.  His misguided view of the Mafia not only means that he let them carry on for decades unfettered, it also means, he missed a lot of great movies.

Now what was ole J. Edgar Hoover, not to be confused with J. Edgar Comey, doing all those years?  Well he spent most of his time spying on everyone in politics or anyone who was rich and famous.  He had secret files on most everyone in government and anybody who was anybody.  Like all the Kennedys and all their girlfriends.  That’s how he kept his job for 48 years through 8 different Presidents, from Coolidge to Nixon.  Now was the FBI appalled or embarrassed by all this when J. Edgar Hoover died and everyone saw his, no longer secret files?  Not hardly.  They named their Headquarters in Washington D.C. after him.  So like everyone else, we await the release of “The Memo”.  But we might just pass, on the shock of it all.

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Don Frankel

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