A few weeks ago we went over the rules pertaining to men and how they need to behave around women. We did this as a public service because of the Big Harvey scandal and the other Hollyweird scandals to numerous to recount here. Also because of the Mass Hysteria scandals also too numerous to mention but best represented by Matt Lauer, super serial abuser, who was disguised as a mild mannered reporter. In these cases, these serial abusers conducted their abuse unimpeded and unreported for decades. So we realized that somebody had to go over the rules. The Mass Hysteria wasn’t going to do it. And now, with the resignation of Rob Porter, White House Aide, we realized that we left something out. And that is, don’t beat your wife. We repeat, do not beat your wife.
Now in our defense, we thought everyone knew that one but obviously we were wrong. And, unlike the Mass Hysteria if we get something wrong or leave something out, we go back and correct the record. So once again, do not, repeat, do not, beat your wife.
And they got them! The Russians that is, as undaunted Special Prosecutor Eliot Mueller and his Untouchables, indicted 13 of them! A while back we told you that the Russians were coming, the Russians were coming and it seems they were here! And, they meddled in our election! How? They trolled the internet! They used Fakebook and Twaddle!* They spread fake news! But alas it didn’t work. It seems to have had no effect on the election. Seems the Russians found out what all the Trolls already knew that no one is paying attention to them, except other Trolls. And, the fake news you ask? Well CNN, could have told them, that doesn’t work either.
Now they say a good Prosecutor can indict a ham sandwich and this is much better than that. This is 13 Russians! Unfortunately like Elvis who left the building, these 13 Russians have left the country. So there won’t be any arrests or trials and no one can roll over on anyone. So is this over? Are you kidding? This is undaunted Eliot Mueller and his Untouchables and they are not going to quit, till they get to the bottom of this. Now some people on the staff here say they’ve already reached bottom with this but some of us are still holding out hope. And, we’ll take ours on Rye, hold the mustard please.
And Pitchers and Catchers reported to Spring Training this last week. Your favorite team is either in Florida or Arizona, where the sun shines most of the time and it’s always warm. Guys, coming off injuries, will heal. Guys, who haven’t had a good year in the last two, will regain their All Star form or reach it for the first time. Every team and all their fans can see a pathway to the World Series, as this after all is spring. And soon we’ll hear those two magical words, which we happen to think are the 11th Commandment. “Play ball!”
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