We were shocked and frightened to learn that HerHillaryness broke her wrist while in India. And let us immediately put to rest the inevitable rumors that she took money from people in India and since she lost the election, she couldn’t pay it back and then well… you know what usually happens. But that’s nonsense, as they break your fingers or your legs, not your wrist. Okay, it’s India and maybe it’s a little different there but still. And besides we know now, that the reason she lost the election was not just the FBI, Comey, and the Russians, it was women! Specifically white women who let their husbands and boyfriends tell them who to vote for! Or so HerHillaryness said last week in India. We guess it was a case of “Et tu feminae!”
Now some wise guys are going to say that of course she really doesn’t believe that. What it was, was, she was in India and she took their money and since she lost the election and couldn’t pay it back well… she had to say something or they’d break her… But not us of course, we’re going with Comey, the FBI, the Russians and now et tu feminae.
Now Nancy Pelosi Minority leader of the House has figured out why the Republicans hate her so much, although one Republican said. “Keep talking Nancy, puhleeze!” But Nancy knows the real reason and that is. “Republicans don’t like poor children.” Or so she said. So forget the G5 she flies around in, the multi millions she’s got stashed away and the birth certificate that says she was born in 1940. She’s a poor child.
And Vanessa Trump is divorcing Donald Trump Jr. There’s a pre-nup, a settlement and a non-disclosure form that Vanessa had to sign before the, I do’s. Seems this is standard operating procedure, if you marry into the Trump family. So they’ll be no revelations about affairs, drugs or drowned women. In case you haven’t noticed as yet, these ain’t the Kennedys.
And if you’re wondering why we’re only covering women this week, it’s because this is Women’s History Month and as the Mass Hysteria likes to remind us all the time, the news, is the first draft of history.
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