What’s the Matter?

People unfamiliar with the Mafia would not understand their use of the term “thing”.  Since members of the Mafia are constantly wire tapped and ratted on, they have learned not to be too specific when talking about their everyday activities like loan sharking, extortion, selling drugs and whacking people.  Talking, about these things, can be hazardous to their health and well being.  So when speaking to one of their fellow associates they might say something like.  “Did you take care of that thing?”  The other party would know what the “thing” was and anyone listening in would not.  This brings us to J.Edgar Comey ex-Director of the FBI, and his boss when he was the Director of the FBI, the then Attorney General of the United States, Loretta Lynch.  She told him to call the investigation into HerHillaryness’ email server, a “matter”.  He took it to mean to cover the whole thing up.  But all she meant was when talking, emailing or writing memos about it, that he should just call it the “matter”.  She probably didn’t want him to call it a “thing” because that would sound too much like the wiretaps they all listen to over there at the Justice Department and the FBI.  But this seems to have just flown over the head of one, J.Edgar Comey.

And Stormy Daniels and her attorney Michael Avenatti have released a police artist’s sketch of the man who threatened her and her baby about her alleged fifteen minute affair, with then just plain ole citizen Donald John Trump.  We’re surprised there’s no video tape as well, because there seems to be a video tape of everyone else, she ever had sex with.  Now there is a $100,000 reward for anyone who can identify the person in this sketch so many people are weighing in.    Some say it’s Tom Brady of Super Bowl fame.  Some say it’s Michael C Hall, the actor who played serial killer Dexter on the TV show Dexter.  And, some people, who know Stormy Daniel’s, ex-husband are saying it looks a lot like the ex-husband.  But we think its Kato Kaelin.

Now some of you don’t remember Kato but he was O.J.’s houseboy at the time of the murders.  He’d clean the house, do the laundry, wash the Bronco and just about anything O.J. needed.  Some people even think Kato is the one who got rid of the knife and the bloody clothes.  He did a pretty good job too as nobody ever found any of those things, except, he dropped a glove.  But we have our money on Kato.  No, actually we have Ms. Daniels money on this one.  And, we don’t take checks, money orders or credit cards.  We prefer a gym bag with nothing larger than a twenty.  So Mr. Avanetti, just send a link in the comments section here, so we can arrange this matter.

And, Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm has a dilemma.  Cynthia Nixon one of the actresses of Sex in the City fame, has decided to run for Governor of New York.  She’s a democrat so she’s taking on Andrew Cuomo or as we like to call him affectionately, Cuomo the Younger in the democrat primary.  And, since their both democrats and Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm is also a democrat he doesn’t know who to back.  This is compounded by the fact that Cynthia is his friend and he hates Cuomo the Younger, with a purple passion.  But he’s the democrat Mayor of the City of New York and this is a question of what is good for the democrat party, not what will satiate his deepest, darkest desires.  This is a question of conscience.  Who does he choose?  But we think it’s not to worry.  There is no Republican party or any other political party of any standing in New York State.  And, Cynthia Nixon has as much chance as a snowball in hell against the powerful democrat machine here.  We think the Mayor shouldn’t rack his conscience too much.  Not because he might have trouble, working that part of his inner self.  Just that no matter which way he goes, it doesn’t matter.

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Don Frankel

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