Iranian President Hassan Rouhani is threatening to go to war with America and he says “It will be the mother of all wars.” And, we can’t help but thinking, didn’t we hear that before somewhere? So we went to our files and sure enough, we found it. It was almost word for word too and definitely the same idea. The quote was. “It will be the mother of all battles.” And, the guy who said it was Saddam Hussein. This was way back in 1991 just before the first war with Iraq. You would think these guys could come up with something a little more original. Maybe they drink the same tea or smoke the same dope but come on now let’s try for some originality, okay? Life is boring enough. War on the other hand may be many things but boring shouldn’t be one of them. Besides, the last guy who used that line Saddam Hussein just like Osama Bin Laden “sleeps with the fishes”*now. Maybe President Rouhani should come up with another idea, other than going to war with the United States of America or at the very least, a new slogan. Hey how does, “We will bury you” sound? No one has used that in like sixty years. Not too many people will remember that one. It will sound new. Go with it big guy.
And Stormy Daniels the porn star, who alleges she had an affair with then private citizen Donald John Trump twelve years ago, is being sued for divorce by her husband. The husband claims Stormy has committed adultery! We’d like to add a few words, tell a little joke here. Have something smart to say. It’s what we do. But we can’t top that.
And the new Publisher of the failing New York Times A.G. Schulzberger, not to be confused with his grandfather Punch Schulzberger or his father Pinch Schulzberger met with President the Donald Himself. At this meeting A.G.” implored” the President to stop calling them “Fake News” and to please stop referring to various reporters as the “Enemy of the People”. The new Schulzberger, A.G. said it was making life “dangerous” for reporters. Now we always thought that reporters are supposed to go where others fear to tread, like wars and dark alleys or into the darkness of the human soul. Now we’re all supposed to come to a halt because of a few harsh words. Well not here, that’s for sure. And we say to A.G., suck it up big boy. Take it like a man. Grow a… Ooops we almost said a bad word and this is a family channel here but you get the picture.
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