We were all moved to tears here this past Sunday, as we watched NFL players lock arms in unity and others kneel during the playing of the National Anthem. The unity of what, we’re not sure and we’re told the kneeling has something to do with social justice, but no one has explained that too well either. But with all the hoopla in the mass hysteria and even the President weighing in, we think this has to be the most important thing to happen in America, since we all found out that Kylie Jenner is pregnant. Now you might wonder what the tears around here are about. No, we were not moved to tears at the sight of a bunch of narcissistic, over paid, steroidal enhanced, nitwit ballplayers who actually think anyone cares what they think about anything. And no, they are not the tears of the bereft but rather the tears of those of us who stare at the screen as the camera, pans from stadium to stadium, where we witness the same collage over and over again. And, the football announcers not sure what to say, keep up a steady stream of blather. And, we sit waiting and waiting for the actual games to be played which, is the only reason these geniuses are on TV by the way. And our tears come because we’re bored, bored to tears.
And Kylie Jenner is pregnant. We told you this was important, as Kylie and her baby’s Daddy Travis Scott cried tears of joy. This is at least as important as a bunch of narcissistic, overpaid, steroidal enhanced, nitwit ballplayers, most of whom suffer from CTE (Chronic, Traumatic Encephalopathy), elbow locking or knee knocking during the playing of the national anthem, as a baby is on the way.
And more tears right here in New York City, as Anthony “Little Anthony” Weiner cried buckets of them, while Federal Judge Denise Cote sentenced him to prison for 21 months for his sexting with a 15 year old. Can we say that was a stiff sentence? But we’re not exactly sure what caused the tears for “Little Anthony”. Was it the prospect of 21 months behind bars, the fact that his wife has finally left him or was it that Judge Cote took his Iphone away?
And there are not only tears over there at NBC but much gnashing of teeth as Megyn Kelly who they hired away from Fox News continues to launch new TV shows that no one watches. So it’s 17.5 million dollars a year worth of tears, as that’s what they’re paying her. And it must be tears on her pillow for Megyn, when she recalls the glory days. That’s not so long ago when she actually had an audience over there on Fox News and she could even go toe to toe with The Donald Himself. Which as we come to think of it now, might have been the high water mark of her career. Sort of like that moment the Army of Northern Virginia had, before Pickett and his boys stepped off for Cemetery Hill.
But whether it’s, NFL players or new born babies or degenerate politicians or even failed TV hosts that produce rivers of tears, America will go on, while her “alabaster cities gleam.”*
Dicens simile factum est
Pro Bono Publico
*Katherine Lee Bates, America the Beautiful